Today started off rough! The Mr is thinner, weaker, more tired, extremely pale. Getting him dressed to go to the doctor took about 2 hours, between the constant bathroom runs and the exhaustion. His parents patiently waited 2 hours for us in their car. Before we left the house I told him “you’re going to receive fluids and a transfusion” and he just nodded OK and put his head on my chest - he’s exhausted and tears quickly filled my eyes and all I could do at that moment was hold him and pray! I can almost always tell what’s going to happen before seeing the doctor. It’s one of the things I’ve always been good at, maybe I’m just extremely in tune with him, maybe it’s a gift. Who knows?! As I told him he received fluids because he’s dehydrated and right now we’re waiting to be called so that he can get his blood transfusion. Keep in mind today was supposed to be a routine visit, nothing more but like I said I knew it would turn into something more once the results to his blood work came in and that's usually less than a 1/2 hour after drawing blood (they work fast). Anyways, hoping and praying this makes him feel better *fingers crossed*!! They’ve taken so much blood already and he’s gotten so much paler since being here. THANK YOU to those that donate blood, you have no clue what a difference it makes. You are the real MVP!!!!
(rewinding back a step, fluids were given in one building and transfusion in another)
Upon arriving to our treatment suite the Chaplin spotted us. She seemed surprised to see us, she always checks the schedule so she knows exactly when the Mr is in the building but this was a last minute appointment. My initial reaction upon seeing this woman is almost always “UGH”. Not in a bad way but more like here comes the water works! She ALWAYS makes me cry and usually with just the first question! I don’t wanna cry any more, I don’t wanna talk about the future any more. But wait!! She says a quick hello and continues on with her business. YES! I felt like I dodged a bullet, she didn't want to speak to us today - great! WRONG!! Minutes later she walked in our room, introduced herself to my in-laws and asked if we (she and I) could take “ a walk”, by this time the hubby was asleep receiving his fluids. I really didn’t want to go but how do you tell the Chaplin NO lol. His parents are here and I don’t want them to see me crying. I’m supposed to be strong! I got this and tears sometimes is a sign of weakness and weak I am NOT!
Upon arriving to our treatment suite the Chaplin spotted us. She seemed surprised to see us, she always checks the schedule so she knows exactly when the Mr is in the building but this was a last minute appointment. My initial reaction upon seeing this woman is almost always “UGH”. Not in a bad way but more like here comes the water works! She ALWAYS makes me cry and usually with just the first question! I don’t wanna cry any more, I don’t wanna talk about the future any more. But wait!! She says a quick hello and continues on with her business. YES! I felt like I dodged a bullet, she didn't want to speak to us today - great! WRONG!! Minutes later she walked in our room, introduced herself to my in-laws and asked if we (she and I) could take “ a walk”, by this time the hubby was asleep receiving his fluids. I really didn’t want to go but how do you tell the Chaplin NO lol. His parents are here and I don’t want them to see me crying. I’m supposed to be strong! I got this and tears sometimes is a sign of weakness and weak I am NOT!
After speaking with the Chaplin I decided to take a quick walk then I went to the bathroom to wash my face. It was obvious tho that I’ve been crying, my face was beet red, eyes hella puffy. The Mr noticed, I wonder if anyone else did?
UPDATE (later in the evening, 1:30 something a.m. I think): The blood transfusion did not go as planned. He spiked a fever, heart rate was high and blood pressure was low. FUUUUUCK!!!! FUCK MY DAMN LIFE! This isn’t how its supposed to go!!! I was expecting for him to receive his 2 units of blood, he was supposed to get his rosy color back and most importantly he was supposed to feel better! Eventually we went from clinic setting to getting an expensive ambulance ride to the ER literally less than 2 blocks away. 15+ hours later we're still here and by this point we’re all exhausted. I guess I should end it here. A long night awaits me...
Thank you for reading and I hope you all have a blessed day!
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